First off thank you to all who fasted for me thursday! I definitely felt all the prayers! I am feeling much better today!
I dont know where to start...
Last monday night I couldnt really stand...or even sit up. Tuesday morning I got up and we walked to zone class. Once I got there I started fainting and throwing up. It took me a while to figure out that it was from the pain. I dont know if I have ever really reached that amount of pain in my life. Ive broken like what...9 bones? And I dont think I ever cried during that. But this pain..mixed with fainting...throwing up..and just pure frusteration was enough to get me to cry. I got a call from the president telling me to stop working and to rest for a few days. So I took some pretty strong pain drugs and sleept in a dazed drugged state for two days. I woke up feeling much better and we got to work. We just took a lot of taxis and took it pretty easy. But I was able to walk without too much pain again.
My new companion has been having some difficulites. President said she would be a hard one...but its more than either of us thought. She has lots of meltdowns...all day long. But its okay! We are getting through it together. Saturday night we had to stop and sit down in the street while she cried for about 3 hours....and I was able to see how far I have come! I never sat down and cried in the street but I felt like an old grandma missionary counseling a baby one. I have now completed over half of my mission! Can you believe that?! I cant. I feel like I jumped off the plane just yesterday. So crazy!
Thursday night the other crazy thing happened. I 40 year old less active member that I have been teaching for about 3 weeks called me up to tell me he was in love with me. Charmed...maybe. But unfortuneatly that meant I had to call president and ask for an emergency transfer. Because he knows where I live and has bipolar and frankly the whole thing just creeped me out.
It was kind of the icing on top of my already falling apart cake. I have had 5 different companions these last 5 weeks. All of them have had some...pretty major issues. I have pretty much been in nonstop pain this whole time and well i wont go into everything else...but it has been hard. And I feel like my resolve to stay here and finish has kind of been eating away. I dont know if its all my resolve....or maybe just my acceptance.
Everyday I teach others about God`s plan for them. And that this plan is different for every person. And that His plan is different than our plan...but its better. And one night when I couldnt sleep because even the strongest pain meds I have werent doing anything to the pain...my Hermana Lorea (who I probably would have died without) asked me....is staying on the mission during this sickness....my plan...or Gods? I told her my mission ended in 9 months. She said my mission ended when God said it did. I didnt like that. I like being in control. And not being able to work...or even walk..when I want to is..frusterating. And the thought of going home early makes me...sick! I dont want to. But then again....is it about what I want?
I know I`m making it sound like I decided to come home.
Dont worry. I didnt. I`m not. But I did learn an important lesson about my willingness to follow God`s plan for me. Sure I`m willing to follow it when it goes the same direction I want to go....but when it doesnt? And I had to reevaulate who is really in charge here. I had to be a little more humble.
I had the same lesson after I got the in love call from the member. I waited 3 days to call the president. I called the zone leaders and everything...dont worry. But I knew I needed to call president. But I didnt want to be transfered. Not now. Not with everything else going on. So I put it off...and after not being able to sleep for 3 nights straight...I called. And felt much better. I`ll probably be leaving tonight. It breaks my heart to leave another place full of people I have come to love....but its part of accpeting God`s plan for me, right?
Okay...now it sounds like I am in really bad shape. I am okay. I had to come to conce today to meet with the doctor. He told me I had to meet with a chiropractor and everything will be okay. And I believe him. My mission isnt done. But when it is...I promise to accept it more easily.
My leg doesnt hurt at all today!
I arrived at the mission office to see a package from dear from Chillancito (convert of Hermana Lees). He is basically the most awesome person ever. Who speaks english!! So he read my blog...found out my leg hurt and sent me just what i needed...manjar! (and hot and cold packs and medicine) Thanks Hector!!
I wont lie and say that these last few weeks havent been super hard. But I do feel myself growing and changing. And growing and changing isnt it a painless process.
In almost every blessing I have received in my life has said that I have angels protecting and helping me. Even down here in Chile...thousands of miles away from home....in a different language....from a man I only knew for 5 mins....I got a blessing that talked about these angels. I know they are with me here. I literally feel like I have been carried. And I am thankful for these people that I cannot see....but seem to have so much interest in my well being.
God loves us so much. He gave us this wonderful gospel to help us come back to him! And people need to know about it. So I will stay and help them learn. And more than anything....help myself learn all these priceless lessons....that I never knew I needed to learn.
Love you all!
Hermana Orchard
ps. It is 25 degrees in our house. Thats what happens when heaters dont exsist!
pps. I tried to explain our awkward parties to someone today in spanish...they sound a lot weirder than they are in spanish..
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| All the medicine I have acquired or been given on my mission |
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| Mission Doctor (my best friend) |
