I wish we could all understand just a little more deeply the love Heavenly Father has for us. I say it everyday to almost everyone I meet. God loves us. He is real. He knows us PERFECTLY! But maybe I didnt fully understand that til this week. Despite everything that happens all I can feel is so blessed. Every moment this week I have had the scripture running through my head ...remember the worth of EVERY soul is infinetly important and loved by God. (i changed a few of the words haha).
God gives us people to help us. He gives us challenges to help us. He gives us times of rest to help us. Everything is for our good. And sometimes he allows us to help other people too.
I have had the most blessed life. Sometimes I dont realize that....but I really cant think of anyone who is more blessed than me!
I have two parents who have always loved me and supported me in everything..together.
I have a mom who read to me every day of my life...who fed me classical music and sacrificed all of her free time to homeschool and give me everything I could possibly have.
I have a dad who is the funniest, most loving and hard working person out there! Who took me on countless adventures in the snow, mountains, who tried to teach me to surf endless time..who put up with all my fits and gave me the courage to do...well everything (my courage alone would never have been sufficient)
I have a brother who has been the perfect example of obediance and diligence his entire life. He also has taken care of me my entire life and has literally lived to serve others and God. I cant think of anyone who could ever be worthy to be his wife.
I have a sister who has taught me everything about loving unconditionally and being true to yourself. Without Emily...I dont know who I would be.
I have another sister who is sweeter than manjar and has always reminded me to be kind and gentle
I have another brother who is just a rockstar. And who is so thoughtful.
And just living with them my entire life would be more of a blessing than I could ever imagine. But there is more!
I have grandparents who have always showered me with love and wisdom! They have been the perfect examples of true disciples of Christ! And have always cared for me so well!
I have aunts and uncles who cared for me for months when Emily was in the hospital and who are just...well good examples!
I have wonderful cousins.
I have had amaing friends my entire life. I have always been amazed that I was able to have such great friends my whole life.
I had a great education and was able to read all the books in the world I wanted.
I have been more or less healthy my entire life
I had my life´s prayer answered when I was called on a mission....and not just that...but to a spanish speaking country!
I have met the most amazing people here and have had so many amazing experiences.
I have had lots of challenges that have helped me grow and learn and become better
I have always had the gospel in my life. I have always known I am a child of God. And that is the greatest blessing ever.
I learned lots of things from my companion this week. But most of all I learned how much I take for granted.
Through some good discussions with her I learned that she doesnt have a family. At all. She literally lived on the streets for three years. She joined the church and decided to go on a mission. She had a pretty hard mission. She had some hard companions that didnt understand her (like me) and always felt like she was just getting in the way. Also, one day she took off her shirt and I was painfully shocked to see that she has had open heart surgery.
I dont know how to explain what happened the last few days. We talked alot. And she started changing. She came out and worked with me. She got up in the moring. She stopped yelling during lessons. She even said she wanted to stay and finish her mission. She told the presiden this. It shocked both of us. Then the president came to visit us. He knew I had been having a hard time and well my companion always is..
The presidents wife talked to me for two hours. Then the president. I wish I could express the love they have for me, my companion and all the missionaries here.
We talked about how we couldnt give up on my companion...because God never gives up on us.
The president said he had a lot of faith in me and knew I could help her. He gave me and blessing and I was ready!
But my heart broke when my companion decided to go home. She said she couldnt do it anymore. And she felt bad being disobediant with me. And this time the president let her go home. We stayed up the whole night packing while she tried getting ahold of her mom. She didnt even know what city her mom lived in. We took a four hour bus trip to Concepcion and I dropped her off and I felt my heart break...more than I think it ever has.
She is going to Peru to no family...no place to live..no money...and says she doesnt even plan on going to church this sunday.
She is one of those people who has just been bruised and torn a little too much with not sufficient love to heal. I tried to give her love...I really did. I wish I could have helped her more. I really do. I cant shake the feeling that its my fault she went home early.
After I got a little mad. Why would God entrust me with someone I couldnt even help? Why didnt he give her someone who could have actually helped her and made her stay?
My mission president is so kind. He gently reminded me we cant really see the effects we have on people. That I shouldnt doubt his inspiration to have given me her as my companion....that if anyone could have helped her...it would have been me. But people have to accept help. And we can only do what we can do....and let God do the rest.
I have learned in my mission to look for the miracles in all circumstances. And the miracles I saw this week..
I loved this companion more than I have any other. I know all that love came from God...not from me
After 3 days of fretting and worrying about my companion...and feeling just completely awful that I had failed I got a letter from her today. Basically she said that she was sorry she went home. She had decided weeks earlier that she was going to leave but that she was thankful for our time together and had gone to church sunday..because I told her to.
And the other miracle...I got to see and really feel with my whole heart the love God has for each of his children.
Now I dont have a companion. I know what you are thinking....you have to have a companion! But I dont. And I wont for four more weeks. The members in my branch are my companions! We will see how that goes this week.
There is more that I want to say (like always) but I will finish next week.
Just remember...to love a little more. To be a little bit more understanding. Remember God´s love for you. And to pray for my old companion. And to send thoughts of health to my leg that is misbehaving again.
Love you all!
Hermana Orchard
