The sun is shinning!!!

Hola!!! From a beautiful day in Concepcion Chile!

I am so happy to be back! 

And the best part...my new area is pretty much summer! Its the warmest area in the mission...I dont want to be here in the summer but in the dead of winter...its not too bad! 

Sun all day long and I can skip around without my snow jakcet! Its wonderful!!

This week has been interesting...as all first weeks in new places are. 

First...I have to say that this week my heart is at Camp Taylor. I didnt even think about coming home for Christmas but its really hard missing a year of Heart Camp!! Im wearing my Camp Taylor necklace and shirts under my clothes this week! Give my heart campers my love!!!

Okay. So last week we took a little detour into the mountains. Well it was really the base of the mountains but it was gorgeous! Dad always says the cure to stress and problems is to go to the mountains and I agree. It had been so long since I had been up in the mountains...or really just away from the city. It was a healing experience. We went to this river thing at the base of the Andes and some members brought a little picnic. It was lovely. Something about nature just makes all troubles melt away.

I had to say good bye to everyone at night. That was really hard. I´ve never been good byes but everytime it just seems to get harder! I just leave little bits of my heart in all these places. I dont know why we cant bring every person we love with us whereever we go...then there wouldnt have to be any pain. But I guess thats what heavens for! Right? What a wonderful party there will be there!! 

Sometimes I dont understand how can there can be so much love in such short time. I learn more every day here that our amount to love doesnt depend on time. We can love completely and fully instantly...it really depends on us. Sometimes I wish I could love less so I wouldnt have to miss so much. But. These are not good byes or endings. Just temporary interruptions. We have eternity together! 

Tuesday morning I got to travel out of Linares with my dear Hermana Lorea. She also was being transferred so we got to have four hours on the bus together. My heart broke a little to wave goodbye to the mountains that I love so much but  I know one day I will return. My heart broke even more when I had to say goodbye to Hermana Lorea. She has been my little lifesaver my time in Linares. Literally carrying me when my leg hurt too mcuh to walk...and emotionally carrying me through all the trauma that went down. She is planning on coming to America but I´m also thinking of visiting her like every year in Argentina. I think we should adopt her. Please prepare a spot for her. 

At the terminal I met my new companion. Hermana Villanueva from Mexico. Shes a pretty cool little mexican but I am having a hard time understanding her accent. Every new comp has their own country accent and words...its like learning a new language every time. But she loves rapping and is really fun. She takes my dance lessons very seriously and has made a dance schedule of all the dances I will learn in our 6 weeks together.  I´m getting better I am proud to say! 

Haulqui is the most beautiful place ever!!! It is a tiny little village wrapped up in hills. We are super close to the ocean but you wouldn't know it because there are hills in every direction. There arent really stores here or much of anything. I love it so much! It is gorgeous! There are horses and cows and pigs and chickens (and of course millions of dogs) walking the streets. I just walk along a sigh and the pure beauty of everything. The air feels fresher here and everything is just better! 

There is actually a functioning ward here too! The members are the nicest people ever! Overly nice. The food is ever better here! The members call us to ask if they can accompany us. I have just been in shock all week. It is another world here! The bishop called me into his office to tell me I was his new hija and all I have felt from this beautfiul place is love! Its pretty much night and day from Linares. 

The only sad thing is that its a super poor area. We asked for money a lot. The thing that breaks my heart the most is to see dirty freezing 3 year olds out on the street asking for money. I never saw that in my other areas. 

While out one day we were walking down a dirt road and saw two eggs! They were still warm so we took them home and ate them.

Yesterday we had a good lunch. Its something you can make because its really easy. Want to try a Chilean dish....here you go..

• cook and cut up steak, chicken and sausage.
• Make french fries. 
• Cut up tomatoes and avocado. (not too much of this)
• Add all that together. Mix it all up and then ,melt some cheese on top. Then pour some extra oil over all that...just for kicks! 

Yes its not the healthiest thing ever...but hey...welcome to Chile!

Its good. Go try it. 

Saturday an awesome couple in the ward accompanied us all day long. They returned home to find they had been robbed. I felt AWFUL! They had been robbed while helping us! Now they dont have any money. But you know what...even though they knew that the robber was going to return...they still went to church the next day and left their house vulnerable. And what else.,,,,they are going to accomopany us again. The faith of the people here....amazes me! Of course they are going to be blessed for their faith and for their diligence of not getting mad that this happened....and just serving more!! 

A girl we have been working with all week really wanted to come to church. And we really wanted her to come! But her parents didnt want her to go....she is like 25 years old but in a really bad situation. Get this....they purposely drugged her so she would be too tired to come...then turned off her cellphone so her alarm wouldnt go off. We tried calling her but expected her to not come when her cellphone was turned off. She lives too far away to look for for church so we just went not expecting to see her. I said a little prayer while I was in the shower that she would wake up on time. And we walked into church to see her there!! She came up to me and said "thank you for waking me up!" I was confused and asked what she meant. She said she was sleeping when she heard my voice saying "ello". It woke her up and she thought we were outside her house. She got ready for church and came. And I am just grateful that God is taking care of our investigators when I can't. 

The longer I am here, the more I am realizing that pure love is the driving force of everytjhing...or at least should be. Love cures everything. I have been trying to have more love for everyone.,..even the dirty dogs on the steet. Even if people wont listen to us we can still love them. They can feel that and something in them will be healed by our love. Sometimes all we can do is love people...and most of the time that is more than enough. 

I LOVE you all!!!

Have a beautiful and LOVE filled week!!

Hermana Orchard

Walkkkkkeeeeeeee

Dont have too much time this week. Since we are out in the middle of no where internet is really slow and I just took 40 mins sending 6 pictures. I hope you appreciate them!

This week was really great! We are teaching three really awesome families who I have just completely fallen in love with. 

But...cambios was this morning.

 I´ll replay it for you. 

7...Elder calls. Asks if I have been sleeping. Of course not. I had already been awake for three hours. Who can sleep the night of cambios? 

Well he lets me know that I am leaving....and to WALKEE!!!!!! The place I have dreamed of going my whole mission!!!!!

It is way out in the middle of no where but has a reputation for being an awesome and BEAUTIFUL place!! I love the country!! I am so excited! I immediately started screaming and running around the house. I also get a latina companion again which is always an answer to prayers!! I leave tomorrow morning. I am happy. 

We had an awesome branch activity saturday. It was actually super stressful since we dont get any help from the branch or anything. But we managed to get a chocolate fountain and tried making popcorn over the stove. It ended up just starting a small fire in the kitchen but thats another story. We played a big game of fruit basket and everything was fun and dandy. Everyone was getting really into it..shoving people down in their path and screaming. And then my little stalker Martin decided to come in. The elders tried to get him to leave...or at least stay away from me...but he came up and was mad. Again asking why, why why. He scares me a lot and I am excited to be very far away ffrom. This last week he has been trying to follow us on his motorcycle as we walk along so we have had to run away a lot. Running isnt exactly a thing I am too great at right now. 

Oh...where I was going with the activity. All the elders in our branch are from Colombia and they got up and did a zumba type dance. I was a little annoyed that they could dance better than me so I had my latina companions try and teach me how to dance and move my hips more latina like this morning. It was pretty comical and I definietly feel more gringa now.  I just wish I could be a full blood latina! 

We had lunch with the new american missionary couple this week. We spoke english the whole time and I was shocked at how different the food was...how clean everything was and just how much more proper it all was. And I surpirsed myself by not really feeling at home. I felt uncomfortable only eating stuff off my own plate...speaking in english and just not having the warm loving latino atmosphere! It made me very unhomesick and scared for the day when I will have to pretend that I am american again. Because I really do feel latina. I think I was meant to be latina. I feel so much more comfortable in this culture than I ever did in my own. Its strange.

Thursday we took a trip down to conce and I went and saw a chiropractor. He let me know that my legs arent the same length and that is the problem.  Makes sense. He did some adjustments (which I did not enjoy) and then told me to get something to put in my shoe. My leg hasnt really been a problem this week so I hope we figured out the solution! 

We learned some scary stuff about the youth in our branch this week. I wont go into it but sometimes I am really glad I was raised in a safe environment. Most of the young woman get pregnant at 13 or 14 here. And we found out that one of our young woman here...last year murdered her boyfriend. Yes you read that right. With a knife.  A sweet little 14 year old. She was put in a teen jail but after 6 months escaped and is here again...just living peacefully. I wish I didnt have to know some of the things I know. 

Two of the sisters in our branch had babies this week so we got to go to the hospital and visit them! I loved looking at the tiny little monkeys...but it was torture not being able to hold them!

Today I started going around and saying good bye to people in the morning. I really hate goodbyes. The elders in our branch surpirsed me and made me pizza in the church. That was nice of them. They almost burned down the church in the porcess. The ovens here are basically bombs and to turn one on you have to lay on the floor..start the gas...light a piece of paper on fire...put it under the the oven and hope it doesnt all explode. It took a few trys today and the poor elder kept burning his hand. At one point too much gas leaked out so it kind of exploded and burned his shirt and everything. 

I am going to miss this little pueblito in the mountains. My time here has been relatively short...yet very hard. But I have learned a lot. You should know...I´m planning my trip back for next summer. I have to tell myself that this will only be a year seperation. If I think for any longer than that its just too hard! 

 I love Chile. And Linares will always have a special place in my heart. Also I have given everyone our direction with the invitation that they can come visit/live with us whenever they want! So...be ready for that! 

Have a great week! I am told that this rain and almost snow will only last for 2 more months! There is hope smiling brightly before us! In the meantime...I am enjoying all the sopa pillas that people make everytime it rains!

Love you all!!!

Hermana Orchard

Out of Time

Hola!

No time this week! We are leaving in ten mins to go out to the mountains and explore a river!

I was thinking this morning...I have eaten oatmeal every single day for the last 9 months. Remember how much I used to hate oatmeal? Progress! 

Not much to say about this week. 

I ended up being able to stay til the end of transfers. There was only a week left and the little issue with the ward member went away for a few days. Mostly we just avoided him. He did find us on the street one day and rode up to us on his motorcycle to yell at me for not returning his love. As we walked away he kept yelling "why...why WHY!!!" And then yesterday he got up to bear his testimony and I almost passed out from fear. The elders got up and stood behind him on the stand just in case he tried to say something. The whole thing was very weird and he glared me down the whole time. It reminded me of that scene from the mormon pride and prejudice when that guy gets up and rats elizabeth bennet out for not accepting his marriage proposal. "Lets call her E Bennet...no...Elizabeth B." hahah!

Because we are in a small branch us missionaries plan a activity every week. This last week we had an iron rode night. We put yarn all over the church building and then led people blindfolded through it while the elders waved chocolate in the faces and blowed horns to try and distract them. It ended up being a really great experience for all! 

On the fourth of July we had a zone conference in Parrall and for the opening hymn we all stood, put our hands on our hearts and sang the national anthem...well at least all the americans did. I was pretty much in tears. I hadnt realized how much I miss America. It is such a blessed and special country and we are so lucky to be part of it!  I am so proud to be an American! I am proud to be chilean too....but oh America! 

Have I told you about my favorite little roommate Hermana Lorea? She is from Argentina and is learning english at a rapid rate! Well....last week we started her BYU appplication!!! It was so exciting! Only trying to get into BYU from another country is so much more complicated! But she will be joining us in America and it would be great if we could find a family member for her to marry! We are going to have to buy a bigger house to room all the people I am planning to take home with me!

We found tons of really awesome people this week that are just so...ready! It was so exciting! 

Of course this week was full of challenges as always. My leg has been a ton better...I havent started the chiropractor yet but will this week. Mostly I have just been having never ending problems with my companion but am learning lots and lots of patience through it! Either that or I am slowly going crazy...

Love you all!

HermanaOrchard

Some weeks are crazier than others...

Oh my! What a week!

First off thank you to all who fasted for me thursday! I definitely felt all the prayers! I am feeling much better today!

I dont know where to start...

Last monday night I couldnt really stand...or even sit up. Tuesday morning I got up and we walked to zone class. Once I got there I started fainting and throwing up. It took me a while to figure out that it was from the pain. I dont know if I have ever really reached that amount of pain in my life. Ive broken like what...9 bones? And I dont think I ever cried during that. But this pain..mixed with fainting...throwing up..and just pure frusteration was enough to get me to cry.  I got a call from the president telling me to stop working and to rest for a few days. So I took some pretty strong pain drugs and sleept in a dazed drugged state for two days. I woke up feeling much better and we got to work. We just took a lot of taxis and took it pretty easy. But I was able to walk without too much pain again. 

My new companion has been having some difficulites. President said she would be a hard one...but its more than either of us thought. She has lots of meltdowns...all day long. But its okay! We are getting through it together. Saturday night we had to stop and sit down in the street while she cried for about 3 hours....and I was able to see how far I have come! I never sat down and cried in the street but I felt like an old grandma missionary counseling a baby one. I have now completed over half of my mission! Can you believe that?! I cant. I feel like I jumped off the plane just yesterday. So crazy!

Thursday night the other crazy thing happened. I 40 year old less active member that I have been teaching for about 3 weeks called me up to tell me he was in love with me. Charmed...maybe. But unfortuneatly that meant I had to call president and ask for an emergency transfer. Because he knows where I live and has bipolar and frankly the whole thing just creeped me out. 

It was kind of the icing on top of my already falling apart cake. I have had 5 different companions these last 5 weeks. All of them have had some...pretty major issues. I have pretty much been in nonstop pain this whole time and well i wont go into everything else...but it has been hard. And I feel like my resolve to stay here and finish has kind of been eating away. I dont know if its all my resolve....or maybe just my acceptance. 

Everyday I teach others about God`s plan for them. And that this plan is different for every person. And that His plan is different than our plan...but its better.  And one night when I couldnt sleep because even the strongest pain meds I have werent doing anything to the pain...my Hermana Lorea (who I probably would have died without) asked me....is staying on the mission during this sickness....my plan...or Gods? I told her my mission ended in 9 months. She said my mission ended when God said it did. I didnt like that. I like being in control. And not being able to work...or even walk..when I want to is..frusterating. And the thought of going home early makes me...sick! I dont want to. But then again....is it about what I want?

I know I`m making it sound like I decided to come home. 

Dont worry. I didnt. I`m not. But I did learn an important lesson about my willingness to follow God`s plan for me. Sure I`m willing to follow it when it goes the same direction I want to go....but when it doesnt? And I had to reevaulate who is really in charge here. I had to be a little more humble.

I had the same lesson after I got the in love call from the member. I waited 3 days to call the president. I called the zone leaders and everything...dont worry. But I knew I needed to call president. But I didnt want to be transfered. Not now. Not with everything else going on. So I put it off...and after not being able to sleep for 3 nights straight...I called. And felt much better. I`ll probably be leaving tonight. It breaks my heart to leave another place full of people I have come to love....but its part of accpeting God`s plan for me, right? 

Okay...now it sounds like I am in really bad shape. I am okay. I had to come to conce today to meet with the doctor. He told me I had to meet with a chiropractor and everything will be okay. And I believe him. My mission isnt done. But when it is...I promise to accept it more easily. 

My leg doesnt hurt at all today!

I arrived at the mission office to see a package from dear from Chillancito (convert of Hermana Lees). He is basically the most awesome person ever. Who speaks english!! So he read my blog...found out my leg hurt and sent me just what i needed...manjar! (and hot and cold packs and medicine) Thanks Hector!!

I wont lie and say that these last few weeks havent been super hard. But I do feel myself growing and changing. And growing and changing isnt it a painless process. 

In almost every blessing I have received in my life has said that I have angels protecting and helping me. Even down here in Chile...thousands of miles away from home....in a different language....from a man I only knew for 5 mins....I got a blessing that talked about these angels. I know they are with me here. I literally feel like I have been carried. And I am thankful for these people that I cannot see....but seem to have so much interest in my well being. 

God loves us so much. He gave us this wonderful gospel to help us come back to him! And people need to know about it. So I will stay and help them learn. And more than anything....help myself learn all these priceless lessons....that I never knew I needed to learn. 

Love you all!

Hermana Orchard

ps. It is 25 degrees in our house. Thats what happens when heaters dont exsist! 

pps. I tried to explain our awkward parties to someone today in spanish...they sound a lot weirder than they are in spanish..

All the medicine I have acquired or been given on my mission

Mission Doctor (my best friend)

How do I condense this...

Hola!!!! From a freezing almost snowy day in antarctica! 

This week....as all....has been crazy. But first I have to say congrats to Steven on his mission call!! South Africa!! That is absolutly insane!! I have never heard of anyone going there. That will for sure be a crazy and unique experience!! I want to go!!!

Anyways, I have some things to catch up on from the last few weeks so I´ll just jump into it. 

Last week we had the wonderful opportunity to be judges at a high school english contest. Us three gringos from our zone went. They gave us three seats in the front and little cookies and stuff. They did little dances and speeches in english and we just judged it all and tried not to be too mean (I really couldnt understand hardly anything) It was fun! 

I eat lunch with the hermanas that are in the other branch. And they have 8 missionaries in their branch! So all 9 of us ate lunch together everyday. I thought that with 6 other elders at lunch everyday the members would feed us hermanas less....but no. All equal. It is super fun to eat with all the elders though! 

So the world cup is going on now, right? Everytime Chile plays we have to stay  inside all day because it gets dangerous. Basically its a party. We normally paint our faces, sing chilean songs and make a bunch of food. Of course we cant watch the game...but there is never any doubt as to if Chile has won or not. Lets just say the streets get very....festive. 

So basically how I have survived without a companion...

I study and eat lunch with Hermana Lorea (Argentina) and Hermana Alverez (Nicaruaga) and then have a member accompany me for the rest of the day until the night when we all meet up and make a switch. Its pretty much the best thing ever. I still get to have companions to study and talk with....yet I can do everything on my own! And have a new member companion every day! I loved it soo much! Hermana Lorea and Alverez are two of my favorite people ever and just so easy going and wonderful. We worked a bit in their sector some days and I just fell in love. They work in the country closer to the andes and I would just walk along in a dream. We had a lot of fun togther....and everything was going great until president showed up. Again. He said he had a new companion for me since another sister is going home early. So two days ago I got a new companion. I was a little upset. Things were going along just fine. But oh well. I guess missionarys are supposed to have companions so I will try and accept it....

My new comp is a little newbie from Utah. We get along pretty well. 

We have been having increasingly worse problems in our little branch. Some of the stuff I see here is almost unreal. Its more than just members being lazy...but downright apostasy! And I have just wondered....how have things gotten so bad here? What happened here?

Well we learned a little secret about the place. 5 years ago our little branch (of about 80 attending people on a sunny day) was a whole STAKE! With 6 wards!! But the members misbehaved. There was some tithing stealing...and other things. And ..oh yes....the members started KILLING each other! Elder Holland came here just to excommunicate a ton of people. And now the problems we are dealing with here make sense. 

The other four elders of the branch have been really frusterated as well. After a pretty awful incident that happened saturday we got together as missionarys and decided that basically it was time to take over. We called our mission president and now basically we are in charge of the branch. I´m the new relief society president and so on....We´ll see how it goes. But it has been hard on all of us. It is a really negative situation and its hard to just see no progress at all. 

And now to the not so fun part of this email. I have been having problems with my leg again. I can still walk and work...but with my leg kind of dragging behind me. I dont quite have the strength to pick my leg up all the way. Well I can...but with excruciating pain. I´ve never really experienced anything like this. I did about 8 sessions of physical therapy and at my last one on friday my physical therapist told me not to come back because she didnt know what was wrong...and I am just getting worse. I am going to go have more x rays done this week and see a traumatologist again. But it looks like the problem isnt in my back...its all in my leg. I will just go into detail in case anyone reading this knows whats wrong and can offer some help. 

The pain comes and goes but is a lot stronger at night and in the morning. Most nights I cant sleep because any movement just really hurts. Its kind of like a constant charly horse. Sometimes I can walk with only mild pain..and sometimes I can hardly walk at all. Sometimes the pain is more in my hip and sometimes down closer to my knee. Buts its always in the back of my leg. Not walking as much seems to help a bit but not completly. I have been taking strong pain killers but stopped because they just made me really tired and didnt even cover the pain all the way. I have been stretching a lot. And trying to have better posture...but I dont think thats the problem. I really just dont know what is. 

Anyways, my leg was really hurting a lot last night and I was limping along at an incredibly slow place. I really just wanted to go home but knew I had to keep working. I felt like we should go to a less active but really just didnt want to because she lived far away and well...my leg hurt. But we went and taught her. It turns out that she was thinking about killing herself that night. She was having so many problems with her husband and just everything..and was just done. She is a returned missionary of about 20 years and such a wonderful lady. We were able to talk with her for close to two hours and had just the most amazing lesson I have ever taught. We read 3 Nephi 17 together where Christ blesses all the people one by one and then DandC 58; 2-3 about not being able to see the eternal plan of God. It was really good....for all of us. 

And so..even though some days it is really hard to work..or even just to walk. Its all worth it. Because people need the gospel. People need missionaries...and I need the experiences I have as a missionary. 

This week I will reach the half mark point in my mission! I only have 9 months left...and if I have to finish those 9 months crawling or in a wheelchair...I will do it. But I would rather finish walking without pain. So your prayers would be greatly appreciated. I will also be fasting this thursday for anyone who would like to join me.

Have a great week! I will try and send all the pictures I am behind with today! 

Hermana Orchard

Blessing

I don´t have too much time today. Thank you for all the emails of love! Everything helps! I would love to say this week has been easier...but sadly its been just a bit harder. But I know this week will be WONDERFUL! So dont worry! 

I wish we could all understand just a little more deeply the love Heavenly Father has for us. I say it everyday to almost everyone I meet. God loves us. He is real. He knows us PERFECTLY! But maybe I didnt fully understand that til this week. Despite everything that happens all I can feel is so blessed. Every moment this week I have had the scripture running through my head ...remember the worth of EVERY soul is infinetly important and loved by God. (i changed a few of the words haha). 

God gives us people to help us. He gives us challenges to help us. He gives us times of rest to help us. Everything is for our good. And sometimes he allows us to help other people too. 

I have had the most blessed life. Sometimes I dont realize that....but I really cant think of anyone who is more blessed than me! 

I have two parents who have always loved me and supported me in everything..together. 

I have a mom who read to me every day of my life...who fed me classical music and sacrificed all of her free time to homeschool and give me everything I could possibly have.

I have a dad who is the funniest, most loving and hard working person out there! Who took me on countless adventures in the snow, mountains, who tried to teach me to surf endless time..who put up with all my fits and gave me the courage to do...well everything (my courage alone would never have been sufficient)

I have a brother who has been the perfect example of obediance and diligence his entire life. He also has taken care of me my entire life and has literally lived to serve others and God. I cant think of anyone who could ever be worthy to be his wife. 

I have a sister who has taught me everything about loving unconditionally and being true to yourself. Without Emily...I dont know who I would be. 

I have another sister who is sweeter than manjar and has always reminded me to be kind and gentle

I have another brother who is just a rockstar. And who is so thoughtful. 

And just living with them my entire life would be more of a blessing than I could ever imagine. But there is more!

I have grandparents who have always showered me with love and wisdom! They have been the perfect examples of true disciples of Christ! And have always cared for me so well!

I have aunts and uncles who cared for me for months when Emily was in the hospital and who are just...well good examples!

I have wonderful cousins.

I have had amaing friends my entire life. I have always been amazed that I was able to have such great friends my whole life. 

I had a great education and was able to read all the books in the world I wanted.

I have been more or less healthy my entire life

I had my life´s prayer answered when I was called on a mission....and not just that...but to a spanish speaking country! 

I have met the most amazing people here and have had so many amazing experiences. 

I have had lots of challenges that have helped me grow and learn and become better

I have always had the gospel in my life. I have always known I am a child of God. And that is the greatest blessing ever.

I learned lots of things from my companion this week. But most of all I learned how much I take for granted. 

Through some good discussions with her I learned that she doesnt have a family. At all. She literally lived on the streets for three years. She joined the church and decided to go on a mission. She had a pretty hard mission. She had some hard companions that didnt understand her (like me) and always felt like she was just getting in the way. Also, one day she took off her shirt and I was painfully shocked to see that she has had open heart surgery. 

I dont know how to explain what happened the last few days. We talked alot. And she started changing. She came out and worked with me. She got up in the moring. She stopped yelling during lessons. She even said she wanted to stay and finish her mission. She told the presiden this. It shocked both of us. Then the president came to visit us. He knew I had been having a hard time and well my companion always is..

The presidents wife talked to me for two hours. Then the president. I wish I could express the love they have for me, my companion and all the missionaries here. 

We talked about how we couldnt give up on my companion...because God never gives up on us. 

The president said he had a lot of faith in me and knew I could help her. He gave me and blessing and I was ready!

But my heart broke when my companion decided to go home. She said she couldnt do it anymore. And she felt bad being disobediant with me. And this time the president let her go home. We stayed up the whole night packing while she tried getting ahold of her mom. She didnt even know what city her mom lived in. We took a four hour bus trip to Concepcion and I dropped her off and I felt my heart break...more than I think it ever has. 

She is going to Peru to no family...no place to live..no money...and says she doesnt even plan on going to church this sunday. 

She is one of those people who has just been bruised and torn a little too much with not sufficient love to heal. I tried to give her love...I really did. I wish I could have helped her more. I really do. I cant shake the feeling that its my fault she went home early.

After I got a little mad. Why would God entrust me with someone I couldnt even help?  Why didnt he give her someone who could have actually helped her and made her stay?

My mission president is so kind. He gently reminded me we cant really see the effects we have on people. That I shouldnt doubt his inspiration to have given me her as my companion....that if anyone could have helped her...it would have been me. But people have to accept help. And we can only do what we can do....and let God do the rest.

I have learned in my mission to look for the miracles in all circumstances. And the miracles I saw this week..

I loved this companion more than I have any other. I know all that love came from God...not from me

After 3 days of fretting and worrying about my companion...and feeling just completely awful that I had failed I got a letter from her today. Basically she said that she was sorry she went home. She had decided weeks earlier that she was going to leave but that she was thankful for our time together and had gone to church sunday..because I told her to.  

And the other miracle...I got to see and really feel with my whole heart the love God has for each of his children. 

Now I dont have a companion. I know what you are thinking....you have to have a companion! But I dont. And I wont for four more weeks. The members in my branch are my companions! We will see how that goes this week. 

There is more that I want to say (like always) but I will finish next week. 

Just remember...to love a little more. To be a little bit more understanding. Remember God´s love for you. And to pray for my old companion. And to send thoughts of health to my leg that is misbehaving again. 

Love you all! 

Hermana Orchard

All over again..

Well I am here to say that it is possible to have a worse week than my first week in Chile (which I look back on as a dark dark nightmare).

Quick recap first....

I lost my friend and companion.

My leg seems to be having troubles again

Our branch president called to yell at me

The other elders in our ward called to yell at me and said I stole their investiagtor

The relief society quit coming to church and said she was done

The branch president basically did the same thing

Only 9 people came to church sunday (the normal attendance is 140)

It rained every day

I think I have frostbite again

We all got scabies again

I got bit by a dog

We shower in freezing water

Someone saw my convert of two weeks smoking in the street

I had to eat intestines

I can see my breath inside our house its so cold

My new companion made me a list of everything she didnt like about me

I plan every night alone and study every morning alone

My new companion refuses to work in the rain (it rained all week)

My wallet got stolen

My best mission friend went home suddenly and I didnt get to say goodbye

I dropped my scriptures in a puddle

I woke up with a huge spider hanging above me (the worst part!)

and pretty much cried myself to sleep every night

But...the work goes on and even though I´m ready to get on a plane and come straight home (I have never felt like that before on my mission)..I know this will all pass and that every moment is wonderful in its own sometimes weird way. The mission is still great..and this church is still true!

One night (well the only night we actually worked this week) we were walking along in the rain. I was sopping wet all the way down to my underwear. It POURS here! We were shaking and super cold...walking through the street that were filled with water all the way to my waist! My companion was super mad that I was "making" her work in such conditions.  I was pretty discouraged and wondering how it was possible to be so cold...when I saw a sparkle floating in the air. It landed on my face...then there were more! The whole sky was filled with sparkles! I was really confused until I realized....it was snowing!! It only lasted for about 30 seconds but it was wonderful and magical! And finally made sense why it was so cold too....

The next morning we woke up to some powdered andes! That I got to look at from inside the house since my companion refused to leave again.

I could say a lot about my new companion....but I will just say a little. My companion only has three months left before she heads home...but if she has it her way she will be home by wednesday. In fact today she didnt buy any food because she said she doesnt want to take it in the plane....

She sleeps a lot...talks about boys a lot, yells a lot....asks for my american money a lot...chews people out a lot. 

We have lost almost all our investigators and trust of the members in our short time together. For the first three days she didnt say a word to be and completely ignored me because she said she couldnt understand my spanish. Then she saw a picture of Jacob and decided to be a little nicer to me so she could marry my gringo brother. 

Its been an adventure. Not exactly a fun one though. 

Its been a great opportunity to learn patience though!

I really tried to learn her life story...and its a sad one. I do love her and want to help her. But I feel like she needs more help than I can give. We will see what happens...but based on this week I dont see this lasting very long. 

I started feeling really bad last night that I couldnt do more. Everyone said "you can change her mission and her life"...and I was feeling really bad about the lousy job I was doing at that...because no changes were happening. Then I saw a quote I had put up a few weeks ago to help my companion

All you can do...is all you can do

And all you can do....is enough. 

Sometimes its really hard when we dont get the results we want. But we cant do more than our best. We arent expected to do more than our best. And if our best is what we give....then God will make up the rest. 

I´ve also learned a valubale lesson on agency this week. We cant help others if they dont let us...

God always wants to help us...but are we letting him?

I expect this week to be just as hard. But hopefully I can learn something from all of this and not just go crazy. 

Have a great week!

Hermana Orchard